This is a funny-boo-hoo article on the ways to psychologically mess up your kid via Psych Central. Some sarcasm on the serious topic of how to raise a happy healthy human:
For the full article, please read 8 Surefire Ways to Emotionally Screw Up Your Kid. To keep with the sarcasm, here’s a snarky synop from yours truly:
1. Shut down all emotional expression…
by mocking your child, telling them not to feel, dismissing their emotions or withholding love especially in vulnerable moments or expressions. Also, become more upset then they are so they will instead comfort you.
2. Set inconsistent rules
Change the rules constantly, be unpredictable and random when enforcing punishment and consequences whilst never speaking openly or concretely about expectations. Then make sure to emphasize how disappointing their “disobedience” is to you.
3. Ask your child to solve your problems
“Share all of your worries, concerns, and relationship problems, ask them for advice and act helpless in the face of solving your own adult concerns about work, money, relationships — and especially sex.” The more you present yourself as incapable of caring for your needs, the more your child will be burdened into taking care of you and your issues.
4. Put down your child’s other parent
Criticise your partner daily with coldness and rejection, lack of affection, fighting, screaming, and threatening divorce regularly unless you’re already divorced or separated in which case continue being angry and bitter while blaming the ex for every problem you have. Bonus: send subtle messages to your kid they’re the cause of divorce.
5. Punish independence and separation
At every age from infant to adult, dismiss or become hysterical when your child expresses thoughts, feelings, desires, or acts against what you think or feel. Make comments on how their exploration of self, friendships, thoughts, or emotions is an affront to you and that your actions are hurtful to you. Because something like tattoos pierce your heart not just their skin…
6. Base your self-worth on your child’s performance
Remind your children often that their appearance, behavior, academic performance and popularity reflects on YOU, the parent, and that when they don’t perform at their peak and better than the others, this reflects poorly on you. Withhold love and punish them severely when they don’t perform to your standards.
7. Get in the middle of your child’s relationships
Micro-manage your kid’s relationships from trying to get your child “off-the-hook” when they get in trouble (at school, with the police, and so on), patch up friendships or set-up friendships with other kids, involve yourself in “love” relationships, and play mediator for fights. Also, compare siblings to each other (because you are the home-owners association to their DNA).
8. Expect your child to live your unfulfilled dreams
Whatever you wish you had done as a child, teenager, or adult, push onto your child. The earlier you can start them on the path toward your success, the better. Make sure you become inconsolably upset, angry, and withhold love if your child expresses the desire to no longer continue your path. “You better get that part/scholarship/belt/award or I’m going to XXX.” Make sure your child feels that they are worthless to you unless they perform.
While you hopefully do not do these things, to a certain extent it’s very easy to push agendas on our children. It’s very easy to have others in our parenting lives do the same. How can you manage to mitigate these negative parenting habits and abusive psychological practices without sacrificing positive social lessons for your children? Did any of your parenting echo in these 8 abuses? It’s so important to realize where we are failing our children so we can get better. Children never stop craving the validation and love of their parents. Even years of abuse and psychological wrecking can be put on the fast path toward healing with acknowledgement and work toward “fixing” the errors of the past. How can you better parent knowing these 8 categories of abusive psychological acts (or if you are a child, how could your parent acknowledge and respect you)?